Boundaries

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Our children used to say: “You annoys us, you are always: ‘Do this! Do that!’ I hate this family.”

“All right, kids. I’m going to tell you a story to explain you the reasons why we do it, even though it makes you feel angry with us.”

That night, I began with my story when it was bedtime already.

I wanted them to know the advantages of having boundaries, and the consequences of either not having them or surpassing those.

I was tucking them in into their beds when I asked them if they happen to feel angry when I asked them to follow the rules. Yes, they answered. Then, I asked them how they felt when following the rules. They said: “Unworried and glad to have done so.”

I also asked them if they wanted to stay awake until they wanted to and forgot about the story. They answered: “No, we want to hear it.”

All right… Once upon a time, there was a home where the parents set a rule one day, and the next day they forgot it.

The kids were initially happy all the time. They used to go to bed and have their meals whenever they wanted to. They did not really know at what time their parents were going to show up at home.

They began to have stomach problems, they ate without hunger, they had eye bags, and they did not know if their Mom and Dad would keep them company or explain the homework of that day.

They began to feel abandoned and scared for the random noises that at some point back in the days, their parents helped them conquer those fears.

They told their parents: “We need to know what to do, what we should and what not; what is good and what is not; we want parents to guide us, and rules to follow.”

And so it has been since then, and as they grew up, the limits became more flexible and the children, being young, were more secure. They learned to function properly in.

The children understood then why the limits are there, and that it was not easy to keep them when they protested so much, but the love of their parents made them persevere. Happy, they said: “See you tomorrow”, understanding even more the great love of their parents.